Making the Decision to be Happy

A Course perspective on the choice to be happy

Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash

The world we live in is constantly sending us messages about what we need and what we should desire in order to be happy. Our consumer culture in combination with our seemingly 24/7 connectivity to the online realm never cease to bring to our attention the latest gadgets, the newest contraptions, and the newest “stuff” that promise to bring satisfaction to our lives. A perusal of social media and what influencers most frequently showcase would suggest that in order to be happy, you would need to have many friends, luxury goods, a perfectly toned physique, or financial wealth. Our culture is such that we focus on these products, qualities and characteristics as barometers for our own happiness.

We literally and figuratively buy into the all too prevalent social discourse that if only we had more (more money, more beauty, more friends), that we would achieve an inner sense of satisfaction, completion, and attainment. In short, the world we live in feeds us a barrage of images that serve as perpetual reminders of what we don’t have and what we should be striving for.

Yet, all of these worldly things are fleeting and mutable. They all reflect the belief that exterior variables are what will provide us a sense of validation. Attention is deflected from the interior, from the eternal, and from the constant. 

To go back to the Course’s introduction, “nothing unreal exists.” All of these things (e.g., money, fame, worldly success) are ultimately unreal, and as such, do not exist. Only that which is of love, only that which is eternal, exists. The world we live in fails to attend to the real: the interior sense of self that is one with God. Instead, we are inundated with messages to look outside of ourselves towards the material for happiness. 

From a Course perspective, material things are illusions. They distract us from focusing, attending to, and cultivating a sense of inner-harmony and of inner-peace.We can only experience true happiness by finding peace within. Happiness does not reside in a new car, a new job, a new partner, a salary increase, or a new home. Happiness comes from the decision to look within, to remember the truth about who you are, and to recognize that this same truth lies in all of us. 

Section eight of chapter 21 in the Course text states the following:

Elusive happiness, or happiness in changing form that shifts with time and place, is an illusion that has no meaning. Happiness must be constant, because it is attained by giving up the wish for the inconstant. Joy cannot be perceived except through constant vision. And constant vision can be given only those who wish for constancy. The power of the Son of God's desire remains the proof that he is wrong who sees himself as helpless. Desire what you want, and you will look on it and think it real. No thought but has the power to release or kill. And none can leave the thinker's mind, or leave him unaffected.

The Course is calling on us to choose to give up these forms of “elusive happiness” and acknowledge the power that we have over our desires. If we desire elusive forms of happiness, we will experience a temporary, fleeting sense of happiness. We will experience a stream of people and things that we believe give us happiness, only to eventually realize that they do not. We will await the next person or thing to finally provide us that sense of happiness we so desperately crave, only to learn that it/they do not. We will continue to repeat this cycle of misery.

As the previously quoted passage indicates, each and every thought we have has the power “to release or kill.” The Course speaks to us about addressing our problems at the level of cause and not the level of effect. The level of cause is our thoughts, or the way in which we think.  When the Course says “to release or kill”, it is referring to the power of our thoughts to either release us from the illusions of this world and the “elusive happiness” that we bargain for in people and things, or to become enslaved to these through thoughts that kill our sense of self, our inner-peace and thus hide our own happiness.

Our true happiness, our unending union with God and with each other, can never be killed or destroyed. But we can think that this union has been killed or destroyed. We can choose to buy into the illusion that material things or other people can bring us happiness. We can choose to buy into the illusions of this world in the mad rush for more and more, or we can choose to surrender this way of thinking. 

We can choose to remember our truth. We can choose to remember that our thoughts do not leave our minds. We can choose to focus our thoughts on our union with God and with each other. We can choose to remember to see wholeness, fullness, love and God within. We can remember that only our unloving thoughts would have us believe we are incomplete and in need of the elusive and illusionary happiness brought about by investing in the material world. We are not helpless. We have the power and the capacity to decide. We have free will.

The Course does not suggest that material things are bad or evil. Instead, the Course suggests these things are nothing in and of themselves. They are inherently meaningless. They only hold whatever meaning we choose to assign them. We are asked to change our mind about them, and in so doing is our release. 

How many of us have had thoughts such as:

If only I had more money I’d be happy.

If only I weighed less I’d be happy.

If only I had a lover I’d be happy.

If only I had a better job I’d be happy. 

If only I were famous I’d be happy.

If only I had a new car I’d be happy.

If only I had a bigger house I’d be happy. 

If only I had a child I’d be happy. 

If only I was treated differently I’d be happy.

 These may bring an elusive, temporary, or circumstantial happiness. But they do not reflect the unending and ceaseless happiness that lies within. Eventually, each of these will fail to satisfy, and we will be on the search, again, for that which brings us joy. 

Happiness is a decision. Happiness is here, right now, in the present moment. Our happiness is not contingent upon others or even time and space. Our happiness lies within. When we recognize the divinity that dwells in all, we can begin to shift our thinking to thoughts of love, and by extension, demonstrate love in what we say and in what we do. When we focus on this constant vision, we begin to cultivate a mental and dispositional repertoire of love. 

Our lives on this earth are short. Yet we spend so much time worrying about the future, angry about the past, and dissatisfied with the present. We choose to focus on what we don’t have rather than on what we do have. We choose to hold grievances against one another. We are, in essence, wasting time; we are giving our time to a mad thought system. 

We can choose to be happy. We can choose to take a few minutes each day and reflect on our gratitude for what we have. We can choose to give thanks for our awareness of the divinity that lies within. We can choose to be happy in the knowledge that, no matter what, our oneness is always and forever. 

What are your thoughts on happiness, and on happiness as a choice? How has your experience of A Course in Miracles contributed to your understanding about being happy? Click below to share your thoughts and experiences. We can learn from and with one another. Please share this post with others!